How to shop really last minute
Marshall Roy — December 22, 2009 @ 1:12 pm
Dude, are you serious with this? December 22nd? At this point all you should have left to do is lint-roll your Legnogs and take a strategic place by the mistletoe. But you still have shopping to do?
Fine.
(Firstly, it goes without saying that Bonobos’ free overnight shipping this holiday can really save your plaid-clad arse here. But if you must consider other options, read on.)
Stuff you can steal from work.
Printer ink. It may not be particularly sexy or sentimental, but it is mad expensive. If you typically wind up spending a bunch of money on something the recipient doesn’t really even use, consider stealing some ink.
Stamps. Kind of old-school, sure, but did you know stamps are legal tender? So you’re literally giving the person cash. Cold, hard cash in nifty $0.49 denominations. Baller.
Five-gallon water jugs. Tell the recipient it’s a natural disaster survial tool. If he or she balks, get offended. Natural disasters are not funny. (You could also say it’s in preparation for the apocalypse in 2012.)
Pants. I suppose that only works if you work in our office. Merry Christmas, Dad!
Find a random piece of junk in your house and give it faux-sentimental value.
“Hey bro, Merry Christmas. I want you to have this crappy deflated basketball. It’s the one we were shooting hoops with that night, when I was going through that rough patch and you said that thing that helped me realize that other thing, and then I did those good things and turned it all around. I owe it all to you, that night, and to this crappy deflated basketball.” If he looks puzzled, just tear up and hug him tight.
2 Comments »
RSS feed for comments on this post. TrackBack URL
Merry Christmas to you too (ninja son) and to the entire, hardworking Bonobos team!
[Reply]
Amazing suggestions. Here is another: When I got laid off before Christmas, I gave my friends spare toilet tissue rolls from restaurant bathrooms, and they loved it. (I couldn’t afford wrapping paper either, so I wrapped the toilet paper in itself.) It should, however, be noted that I got laid off for stealing printer ink.
[Reply]