Bonobos

According to leading Ivy League sociologists, objects of beauty and impeccable craftsmanship often engender strong possessive urges. In the animal kingdom, this craving for aesthetic belongings manifests itself in a healthy and natural fashion, as in the case of the jolly bowerbird, or the transient hermit crab. But in the human world, this lust exists at its most base and primitive form - and the result is simple thievery. From Winona to the Hamburgler, history is riddled with individuals tempted by their own rapacity to commit theft. We thought Bonobos had managed to steer clear of that whole sordid side of the human condition, but then we received this missive from Bonobos customer Ron Cedillos:

Not sure if I mentioned this before but a few weeks after moving to SF my car was broken into and, in addition to some other priceless items, they got away with two pairs of my Bonobos. So there is a strong possibility that at this very moment some guy is strollin’ through the tenderloin with a pair of Midnight Blues… not sure what your marketing team thinks of that but I figure it could only add to Bonobos’ street cred.

Barring the existence of the fabled Hosen Gnome of Bavarian folklore, and taking into account our recent surge in street cred, we have to surmise that Mr. Cedillos’ pants were indeed purloined by a jealous, greedy human. And our only advice? Be vigilant and steadfast when it comes to your Bonobos. Keep a careful watch. And don’t leave them in locked cars, as they may overheat and perish from lack of water. Or maybe that’s German Shepherds.

Or maybe that’s just good sense.