Can The Swiss Guards Wear Bonobos?
Dane Huckelbridge — April 18, 2008 @ 9:44 am
As many of you may know, New York is hosting a very special guest today – His Holiness The Pope. What some of you may not know are the details regarding what occurred last night at Bonobos HQ*. It all began when we took a quick dinner break at The Melting Pot – our usual Swiss Fondue neighborhood hangout. You can imagine our surprise at finding four Swiss Guards sans trousers weeping quietly in the corner. Being the sympathetic humanists that we are, we pulled up chairs and asked them what was wrong. “Our uniforms,” Pierre whimpered between strings of melted fondue cheese, “we lost our pants and cannot march tomorrow with The Pope. What will we do?” Well, we put our heads together and came up with a simple solution – Bonobos. It wasn’t easy replacing the brightly spangled breeches of the Swiss Guards, but we were able to throw together a nice simulacrum with a pair of Clarks, some red party streamers, and masking tape. Their frowns turned to jubilant smiles, and they raised their halberds triumphantly. “We did it!” shouted Pierre with a vigorous fist pump, “we’re gonna march with The Pope!” And so they did. We watched them go by from the window of Bonobos HQ and couldn’t help but smile. And you know what? From their honored position alongside the popemobile, I swear they smiled back.
Disclaimer: story may or may not have actually occurred
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Those pants are meant to aid the Swiss in remaining neutral. It would be impossible to match them with anything otherwise.
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