Bonobos

Dear Brian,

I hate Bonobos.

Life used to be so easy. I had a couple pairs of pants and some shirts, and I went to work. The pants fit okay and the shirts were so-so, but certainly neither were anything to write home about.

I’m an active guy–-used to be a rower, but now a cyclist. Needless to say, my quads and butt never fit into much of anything, so it was always either baggy or pleats-–or both? But that’s just the way it was and I had kind of accepted my lot in life. I didn’t care. Then one day I was messing around on Facebook, and I saw an ad for Bonobos. Of course, I promptly ignored it. I saw it again later and thought, “huh-–better fitting pants?” Yeah, whatever. Third time’s a charm, though, and so the third time I saw the ad I clicked away and got whisked off to your site.

Hook, line, and sinker–-I devoured the website just praying that all the marketing might be true. $190 seemed like a lot, but if they really fit well, then maybe, just maybe…. So I ordered a pair of snapdragons 1 with the funky liner in 34/35/36 as a test. I was pretty sure I’d be a 35, and that’s just how it turned out. The fabric was so amazing-–so soft and comfortable-–but I wasn’t completely sold until I got them hemmed. They fit like a glove. Slimming from the waist and nothing goofy at the ankles. I can’t tell you how odd it felt to wear pants that just fit so damn well! At that point I had no choice but to start buying as many of your pants as possible for fear that I would awaken one morning and find the website gone. Plus, I needed some pants….

But then a funny thing happened–-I started ‘caring’ about fashion. Once I started buying your great fitting pants, my upper body started feeling neglected. Puffy-ish ill-fitting shirts no longer-–I had to get some trim fit shirts (never had a massive upper body-–especially with cycling these days) to complete the feeling. All of a sudden things were getting complicated-–now I actually cared about looking sharp at work. When I first started buying your pants a little over a month ago, there were only a couple of belts on your site, and they weren’t in my size anyway. But now the elusive belt that I saw advertised with the jackson brownes is here. And the belt shown on the clean slates! Damn you. Why do they have to look so cool? And why do I have to buy them immediately?

But to top the whole thing off, the strangest thing happened to me when I started wearing your pants and some complementary shirts. There was a newfound swagger in my step and just a different kind of confidence. I’ve always been pretty good at my job-–satellite communications engineering-–but now I felt a little je ne sais quoi. I honestly never saw that one coming, but it’s truly the best benefit of all. I’d say it’s pretty obvious that I’ve been spoiled by your pants. I went out to try to buy a suit the other day, and I tried a couple on. The jackets felt nice, but-–wouldn’t you know it-–the pants were a letdown every time! Not the same in the posterior. Not the same at the ankles. What a bummer. What to do?

Is there a Bonobos Anonymous nationwide society? I may need to join–-I think I’m addicted.

Cheers,

Jeremy M.

EDITOR’S NOTE: Being a great writer, snazzy dresser, and spirited supporter of Bonobos would have been more than enough for Jeremy to become one of the team’s favorite customers ever. Then we noticed his shipping address. This dude lives on Bacon Street. Now we not only love Jeremy, we envy him. And we’re FedExing a Bonobos t-shirt on the house to Bacon Street, pronto.