Notes from the laundromat
Marshall Roy — November 17, 2008 @ 4:24 pm
My local laundromat is a trip.
It’s a 24-hour place, so they keep a huge kettle of water on all the time, and next to it a jar of freeze-dried coffee and tub of non-dairy creamer that may be older than I am. (Hard to tell which there are more of in that place–crappy chinos or crappucinos.) I like to load my Capertons into the washer with panache among the sea of drab denim.
The proprietress scuttles around nonstop, blasting a whistle like a professional ref and hoarsely announcing every laundry infraction she spies: “I see dryer sheets on the floor! Dryer sheets on the floor! PICK UP YOUR DRYER SHEETS! TWEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEET!”
There is a sign in the bathroom that kindly asks patrons not to smoke marijuana.
Half a dozen flat-screen TVs hang from the ceiling, broadcasting sports and music videos, yet the most current issue of any magazine I can find on the premises is a GQ from August 2007 (with Matt Damon on the cover plugging The Bourne Ultimatum and mentioning in his interview that he hopes Barack is able to upset Hillary for the nomination. Ah, memories).
I paged through that issue last night, my concentration broken every few minutes by recriminatory whistle-toots, brushing up on the ins and outs of the gentlemanly arts (never hurts to review how to properly season a cast-iron skillet, or the chicest number of ice cubes to take in your single malt). This issue featured a cool spread on how to dress if you’re a “hard to fit” guy–that is, a guy who’s shorter than average, taller than average, fatter than average, or straight-up athletic.
Three aspects of this feature caught my attention:
1) It advised against pleats for larger guys. This is something Bonobos believes deep in its bones, the way farmers know when it’s going to rain. Pleats just aren’t flattering. Flat-front trousers, on the other hand, are meant to be comfortable even on large guys. Test model Horatio Sanz (of SNL fame) looked great sans pleats in a well-fitted suit.
2) It advised athletic guys to try narrow-cut trousers–and here I’ve got to disagree. Test model and UFC champion Chuck Liddell looked like a chump in his skinny suit pants with no break. (Sorry Chuck, had to be said. Please don’t beat me up. I’m not a real ninja.) The truth is, even though tapered pants may be hot sellers to thin guys in certain hipster enclaves these days, we still prefer our slight flare. (In GQ’s defense, the signature Bonobos cut didn’t go live worldwide until October 2007. That said, enough customers have asked for a more conservative straight-leg trouser for work that we’ve decided to offer one–stay tuned, they should be released at the end of this week!)
3) It also advised athletically-built guys to “look for shirts labeled ’slim’ or ‘athletic.’ You don’t need excess fabric hanging off that toned midsection of yours.” That’s great advice, GQ–except that the shirt you featured next to that tidbit is a Dolce & Gabbana number priced at $435. Wouldn’t it be great if America’s next great trouser brand crafted a dress shirt worthy of its short but sensational sartorial heritage? That would be great. What would that look like, do you think?
I didn’t get a chance to read much further, as my dryer cycle was over and I wanted to get my Congos crisply folded while they were still warm. That, and if I didn’t clear my stuff out in a timely manner and make room for the next customer, I was in danger of incurring a wicked whistle screech to the face. Maybe I’ll follow that lead and prowl Manhattan, blasting an air horn I’ve recommissioned as a KDB alarm.
Nah. I’d go deaf in no time.
2 Comments »
RSS feed for comments on this post. TrackBack URL
Ah… sweet coincidence!! Follow the rabbit trail:
*Newest magazine found was GQ, August ‘07
*Said issue featured a section on how to “Suit Your Size”
*GQ did a segment on The Today Show promoting the issue by way of said section of that issue
*I modeled for GQ on The Today Show as the “Tall” guy – I’m 6′6″
*I have never fit into a pair of pants better than my Bonobos – including the VERY expensive, custom tailored, Dolce & Gabbana suit they had for my appearance on the show.
Big, BIG love to my new favorite pant makers!!
[Reply]
Outstanding! Thanks for your support, Brian–let us know if you ever need anything.
[Reply]