Bonobos

Bonobos, first of all, are monkeys. And in particular, they are monkeys that like to have sex. They are a relative of the chimpanzee, according to wikipedia, which puts them just above Cardinals fans and just below English Premier League soccer fans in terms of intelligence.

But seriously - here’s what Bonobos do. They use sex as a means of reconciliation, as a greeting and a farewell, as a way to mitigate conflict, and to avoid violence. They are one of the only animals that has sex face to face, perhaps the only, and according to a 1995 study published in Scientific American, research on Bonobos is challenging assumptions about male supremacy in human evolution.

They are not war-mongering, like Donald Rumsfeld. They are more like Tiger Woods in their approach to conflict: competitive, gentlemanly, and often wearing red on Sundays.

They are also progressive. They treat their women well (okay, they’re not monogamous - but who is these days?). In short, they’re aspirational, at least for most guys, particularly those who have not taken Touchy Feely.

They’re also really intelligent, and they share 98% of our human DNA. What’s not to love?

These are our values: handsome, fun-loving, spirited, progressive, peaceful, and sex-prone.

Welcome to Bonobos, the men’s pants revolution.