Bonobos

Rare it is indeed, my friends, to pull a coelacanth from the deep, in direct defiance of extinction, ancient fins a-flapping. Rarer still that said coelacanth should be made of lightweight corduroy. You can imagine my surprise when, while perusing the Bonobos homepage, I stumbled upon my old retired friend. That soft, bosky green swiped from Monet’s lily pads… those winking diamonds stripped off one of Picasso’s jaunty harlequins. How could it be? The mint julep was retired ages ago, never to be loomed, sewn, or hemmed again. It had been placed, had it not, on a pedestal with the pantheon of other legendary, retired trousers from Bonobos’ earliest, most incipient days? The f. scott, the black swan, the whistler… the styles one wept for when pulled from circulation, and pined for once cold reality set in. For as the humpback will tell you in whale song, extinction is forever, and forever is a long, long time.

But alas. Like the coelacanth, the ivory-billed woodpecker, and John Travolta, it seems the trousersmiths at Bonobos have a Lazarus species of their own. The mint julep has returned, to strut and rut and wink again. As it turns out, our old friend mint julep did not go gently into that good night, into the dusty annals of history alongside the hula hoop and the dodo bird. He is alive and well, flopping on deck, gasping for breath with primordial lungs, aching to be worn once more. The mint julep lives! The mint julep lives!

From the evocative (bermuda straits, plymouth rocks, sandcastles) to the literary (meursaults, tessie hutchinsons, sisyphus, ali babas) to the shamelessly pun-tastic (kappa chinos, just whites, if looks could twill) to the utterly perplexing (stone-faced lady killaz), we sorted through well over 100 submissions to name our stretch brushed lightweight organic twill (or SBLOT).

Autumn approaches, and we don’t want to pigeonhole our twills for beach-going. And much as we love literature, Meursault and Tessie Hutchinson are both senselessly executed (bad chi), Sisyphus is condemned to Hades (ouch!), and Ali Baba is a tyrant (uncool). The day may come when a pun so witty, so original, and so perfectly executed appears that we deem it a worthy moniker for one our creations–but it is not today.

And stone-faced lady killaz? Well, Ryan M., you gave us all a much-needed chuckle with your assertion that “despite their stoic exterior, these stone twill trousers will knock the ladies dead when they undo the zipper to reveal the floral party in your pants.”

But in the end, we thought one suggestion triumphed. Congratulations Robin Testa! Thanks to your simple but richly connotative entry, “touchstones,” our stone-colored SBLOTs now have a name that (to paraphrase you) distinguishes them as the measure against which other trousers shall ever be judged. And, of course, you have a free pair on its way to you. Wear ‘em well!

But there’s more to this story. There was one other name, a close second behind touchstones, that we felt properly caught the ethos of our trousers. Matthew Olson gave us the name “sand dollars,” and the description “our twill chinos are… just as soft and supple as the sun-drenched and stone-washed echinoids kind enough to lend their name to these trousers.”

The elegance and concision of those words really struck a chord with us, so we decided that our soon-to-be-launched khaki shorts will now bear the name “sand dollars.” The newly-named sand dollars are the same luxurious stretch twill as our awesomely popular khakis, and are perfect for tee time (or tea time, for that matter) or a stroll along the beach. And there’s a pair en route to you, Matthew.

In the meantime, we’ll do our best to heed to the wise wordplay of Touchstone, Shakespeare’s fool in his romantic comedy As You Like It. The Bard may not having been thinking of pleated fronts and greedy markups when he gave Touchstone the line, “The more pity that fools may not speak wisely what wise men do foolishly,” but that’s what we think of every time we launch a new pair of bonobos.

It’s time for another Bonobos contest.

To the winner? A free pair of our new stretch brushed organic lightweight twill. In the color stone. We call them, for now, Stone Twill.

You can do better than that. What do you call them?

(You don’t have to write the description as well to win the contest, but descriptions will be taken as a factor. Just see our previous contest on the Navy Bleus to see what we mean.)

Football season is so close, you can taste it. School is not back in session, but it’s time to buy your supplies. The heat of summer is still with us, but the evenings simmer down as we slowly creep toward what we at Bonobos like to call FWS. Fall. Winter. Spring.

We’ll miss day games at Wrigley, but that’s about it.

So what do you wear as the sweaty summer days make way for the decrescendo of balmy to cool August evenings? We have the answer. Dress well this late summer/early fall with what we at Bonobos call late summer stretch wool.

We took some exceptionally lightweight stretch wool, and we lined it with silk. Introducing the Jive Cats and the Jackson Brownes. The end of summer. The end of sweaty pants on hot summer nights. The beginning of you thinking about how to transition from one season to another in style.

(This message is brought to you by our the slightly more supple brethren of these two beautiful brown trousers, the latest in our gray wool line - the G5s. Not quite as lightweight, but not far behind, our customers are already picking these up in droves and wearing them in the summertime with a smile. We thought we’d wake you up when September ends on these… but who are we to say when you should wear em?)

After the success of the inaugural Bonobos contest, we decided to up the ante. Over a hundred of you threw out names for a shot at a pair of navy shorts and Bonobos fame. So, we made a second call for creativity. The part wool, part cashmere, and all luxury Dark and Stormys are the jackpot of pants. With the stakes so high (we can’t just give away a pant so dear to our hearts) the challenge had to be tougher.

We found many Bonobos lovers could throw out names for our inspiring pants, but could anyone craft a story as memorable as these Dark and Stormys?

While most of you folded, a few tried. Some were way off target (MRG’s pre-disco ritual) and others were quite convincing (Roby, Ronnie, and Sparky). But, it was ultimately Marcus Coe who caught the essence of these pants best. And for that, he will forever enjoy his new Dark and Stormys. And the rest of us can forever enjoy his story (at least until the pants sell out):

Bermudian winters can bear faint resemblance to the lapis skies and gin-clear waters of summer. Storms roll in, bringing a touch of soggy reality to this fish-hook shaped island in the Atlantic. But no matter, you and your cloudy concoction of Black Seal and Barritt’s Ginger Beer simply change venues: from the front to the back porch, perhaps, where the covered deck allows an afternoon of daring backgammon victories.

Deceptively simple yet layered with intrigue, you and your drink are cosmic brethren. You appreciate the gusto of the occasional hurricane and realize that one must embrace challenge. An endless parade of perfect beach days and pina coladas is not interesting. Weathering 60 knot gusts on the bow of your sloop is interesting. An island that used to be populated only by wild hogs is interesting. Your pants are interesting.

The Dark N Stormy, a buttery concoction of burnished-teak-colored wool with the soft hand of cashmere, is here to help you amble through the cooler, damper climes of the sun’s retreat. A pant to help you weather its namesake, it is perfect for cocktails on your deck overlooking Harrington Sound, a Bloody Caesar at homecoming or grand rounds at Man’s Best Hospital. An orange silk liner keeps your pockets happy, and the herringbone weave encourages admirers to take a second look. My, there’s a lot of depth to that fabric.

You know there’s no reason to mourn the passing of the height of summer. Armed only with a pair of horn-rimmed glasses and a slicker, you grab your pants and head out into the storm.

Jealous of Mr. Coe’s new pants? We’ve had so much fun reading your Bonobos-inspired stories, we can assure you another contest will be coming soon. If you can’t wait, we don’t blame you - we’ll let you buy them here.

In light of how popular the “name the Navy Shorts” competition was on our blog, we’re launching competition #2 for all you aspirant scribes out there.

Everyone knows that the Dark N Stormy is one of the greatest beverages known to mankind. Nothing like some Zacapa Centenario expertly mixed with Bermudian ginger beer. A lime wedge on top adds the final touch. Best consumed at the tee on hole #5 at the world-renowned Mid-Ocean Club.

The Bonobos Dark N Stormy resembles this classic drink in a number of ways.

- It’s super smooth: a warm milk chocolate brown with a generous amount of cashmere

- It’s lined in brown and orange: not too dissimilar to the color a great aged rum takes on

- It’s versatile: at the bar, at a party, or in the boardroom, you can drink one anywhere… and wear these everywhere

- They’re of a rarefied air: just as ginger beer and Gosling’s black rum are hard to find; these Dark N Stormy’s won’t stick around for long, just check out what happens to most Bonobos.

We need the new description for these Dark N Stormy’s. 250-500 words that will go right up on the product page. The winning entry will incorporate facts about the color and fabric, but will bring the pant a personality all its own. Winning entry gets a pair. Experience tells us that existing customers are able to wax nostalgic about Bonobos most effectively. So get involved! Post right here in the comments section.

Best of luck and, by the way, the winning entry may make no entry of rum. Or maybe it will?

When we originally conceived of the G5s, we were targeting October 2008. Then we pre-sold out of the size 32 G4s. And we decided maybe it was time to start a series. Not a series like in the movie business, where sad sequels tarnish the memory of the original – except for Police Academy II and Beverly Hills Cop II, which were amazing. Rather we were hoping to launch a series akin to the European automotive tradition. With the G-series grey wool trousers, we hope to emulate the success of Bavarian Motor Works’ legendary 3-series – innovation, value, performance, precision; German know-how.

We expect to innovate with each new G rendition. And we hope to attract long term, devoted followers. The G5 features a double-faced, super-smooth stretch wool, and a pure silk liner in assorted contrasting pastels. A companion to the G4s, not a substitute.

Bonobos - The Ultimate Trouser Machine.