We’ve got to hand it to you guys–the effort to name our new silver stretch wool trousers was impressive. A number of suggestions took a supernatural angle–”Silver Bullets,” “Vampire Hunters,” and the (p)unbelievable suggestion of “Wearwoolvs.”
Others wanted to see our new trousers take on a suave persona–we saw many entries along the lines of “the 007s,” “Silver Foxes,” and “Slick Ricks.”
But by now you’ve probably surmised that we went with the Larry Harmych’s suggestion “Dorian Grays” (and hopefully the irony of naming a luxury trouser after a parable of deadly vanity isn’t too overwrought). Funnily enough, we received one other suggestion from the annals of obscure Brit Lit, and while the bookworm in me delighted at christening a trouser after the title character in Laurence Sterne’s The Life and Opinions of Tristram Shandy, Gentleman, something about Gothic horror fiction trumped anti-generic metanarrative. Maybe we were all still in a Halloween mood. (Sorry, Trey!)
Even so, we’d like to acknowledge and congratulate the top percentile of entries, the ones that made it to the finals round. They were imaginative, evocative, funny, and educational (I, for one, was delighted to learn the words bricolage and marlinspike). They were:
MMcMahon: Stonewall Jacksons
Known as a gifted tactical commander and an innovative, strong and bold general, definitely attributes which these pants have in spades.
Thomas Spier: Don Johnsons
These pants will always be known as the Don Johnsons…. at least in my mind.
Trent: Silver Fox
Silver fox can have a variety of meanings. Wikipedia says it is a Marvel Comics character, a snow cone flavor, a handsome dude with grey hair, and even better… this:”A nickname for an exceptionally clever individual, often conniving or intended in a pejorative sense. ‘Silver fox’ generally comes from the combination of the idiomatic ’silver tongue’ and the Western cultural staple of foxes as a symbol of both swiftness and craftiness.
Jason M: Stingrays
I love seeing stingrays while diving, and they are often silver. Also, my father had a ‘66 Corvette Stingray convertible that was almost exactly that color when I was growing up. God I miss that car.
Stewart: Silverbacks
Strongest gorilla. Silverbacks are the strong, dominant troop leaders. Each typically leads a troop (group size ranges from 5 to 30) and is in the center of the troop’s attention, making all the decisions, mediating conflicts, determining the movements of the group, leading the others to feeding sites and taking responsibility for the safety and well-being of the troop.
Kaveh Haerian: Slick Ricks
Not as flashy as Hip Hop’s elder statesman, but timeless and classic. And totally fresh with an eyepatch.
Ross Foti: AIRSTREAMS
Stream-lined wool, lightweight and rugged, reflect and stretch the world’s new optimism into every man’s tomorrow. For travel and convenience, comfort and reliability, nothing beats a pair of AIRSTREAMS. Like their vintage namesakes, they are instant icons, and like their namesakes, every inch has a functional purpose: to make you feel as good as the man you know you are! AIRSTREAMS–get on board!
Mango: Remington Steele
Before he was Thomas Crowne or James Bond, the artist known as “Pierce” was Remington Steele, a thief turned private detective. His onscreen presence with the lovely Stephanie Zimbalist (Laura Holt) cast him into the realm of “Master” and he also rocked many a silver suit.
Lee: The Silver Lakes
…after the Jackson Browne tune. I mean, you said they were cousins to the Jackson Brownes.
Ralph Moore: Silver Flairs
Named in honor of Dizzy Gillespie’s trademark King Silver Flair trumpet, a sleek symbol of exuberance, style, and independent spirit that is equally at ease at a Sunday brunch, an office ambiance, or a night out on the town. Bold, yet classy.
Nathan: The Athenians
About 500 B.C. the Athenians found an enormous silver mine near Athens. The mine is what paid to build their first navy, and helped them to become a powerful city-state.
Noah: The Bob Barkers
In the late 1980s, Bob Barker did what no host had ever had the courage to do–he let his dyed black hair go silver gray. He started a trend that would become the standard–just look at Alex Trebek and Monty Hall–and in doing so he remained as sleek and charismatic as he always had. A pillar of style, suaveness and longevity, no other television personality has lasted as long as Barker, nor stolen as many kisses from as many ladies.
Here at Bonobos, we’ve gone through colorful phases–from our red Capertons, our Mint Juleps, and even our more subtle Bryan Wolff Browns. We’ve had our fun with our youthful black Destros and Black Swans. But now, we’re letting ourself go silver gray with the new Bob Barkers, and we’re just as sexy and stylish as we’ve ever been. I think you’ll agree when you try them that, no matter what we charge, the price is right!
Anders: MacGyvers
Differentiated by tactfulness, wit, and bricolage, these trousers pay homage to Angus MacGyver, the sleek and unbroken protagonist of the hit program of the late 80s who decisively favored brain over brawn to solve desperate problems.
Along with a Swiss Army knife, he often carried a roll of silver duct tape in his back pocket, folded to make it fit, equipped to jury-rig anything at a moment’s notice.
Hostage: “What the hell are you doing!”
MacGyver: “Buildin’ a rocket thruster.”
Johnny Whitaker: THE GREY SKULLS
By the power of grey skull, I name thee “THE GREY SKULLS!!!!”
Mitch Lyon: Galahads
Shining armor as befits the achiever of the Holy Grail… really awesome pants.
Ginny: Silver Swans
The Internet, Google, the PC, Viagra, Bonobos. All of these items are related by common themes: They were (1) unpredictable, (2) highly impactful (3) obvious, they are black swans.
Ladies and gentlemen, the birth of Bonobos was a black swan–-a highly improbable event with three key characteristics–-(1) it is unpredictable-–have you seen the pants and felt the fit (Mint Juleps), need I say more? (2) it carries a massive impact–for those of you that sport the pants you know what I mean, you no longer look like the masses of dweebs wearing un-tucked dress shirts and denim every weekend, you have an arsenal to mix it up. Your game just notched up. Your game is so on that if you were a basketball player and stole the ball from your opponent’s court and were on your way in for an easy breakaway jam, you pull up to the three-point line, look around and then drain it and (3) it appears less random and explainable-–no crap Sherlock, the need for a solution to the KDB was obvious, well if so obvious, no one did anything about it since men have been wearing knickers. Real obvious.
With that, these silver stretch wool pants are direct in the same lineage as the legendary Jive Cats and Jackson Brownes, yet its own creature, versatile, not too thin, not too thick, pants fully capable of handling any situation, will give you game to steal that ball and not only let you hit the pull up J, but also give you versatility to nail the crossover so your defender trips over his own feet and stuff it in the basket (or whatever your proverbial basket is on a Saturday night out)-–impactful and obvious in hindsight! Yet another anomaly, a black swan produced by the black swan. The Internet, Google, PC, Viagra, and Bonobos now present you with the “SILVER SWANS.”
Bill: Homesteads
For the negro league baseball team Homestead Grays of Homestead, Pennsylvania–once home of one of the world’s most productive steel mills.
Jason: The Concrete Jungles (CJs for short)
I work across the street from a 50-foot deep man-made hole in the Earth that will soon be filled with tons of concrete, to become a 100+ story skyscraper overlooking the west bay of Doha, Qatar. A similar landscape engrosses the entire area, a constant reminder that concrete has become the international symbol of progress.
As we progress through life, it’s our clothes that will help keep us versatile. The CJs exude such versatile progression, constructed of a lightweight wool that sit just as comfortably in the chilly weather of upstate New York as they would in the heat of a Middle Eastern concrete jungle.
Dan: Norrin Radds
Before the Silver Surfer became a herald of Galactus he was a young man named Norrin Radd who lived on the planet Zenn-La. He wanted more than the mundane existence his planet provided and as the Silver Surfer he went on to explore the galaxy. Those who wear Norrin Radds share his spirit of adventure and want something a bit more stylish than the typical grey trouser. When you wear Norrin Radds you’ll feel like you possess the Power Cosmic.
Zep: Gandalfs
I always thought Gandalf the Grey from Lord of the Rings was a pretty mint dude.
Mark: Nixons
They’re kind of reminiscent of the grey suit that Nixon wore for one of the 1960 presidential debates with JFK. People say he may have hurt his chances at that debate due to his refusal to wear make-up for TV (despite recovering from the flu and being really pale anyway) and his pale suit that blended into the background on black and white TV. Pretty famous as far as pants go.
Regardless of how TV viewers may have felt about similar pants, these are gorgeous… and I want them… like… now.
Michael: Sedition
Defined as any act that incites or establishes disorder against an establishment, particluarly government
Okay, so you’re not throwing over a government here. But, Bonobos has subtly, yet quickly, “established disorder” in the world of men’s fashion. Lined with a swirling mix of daffodil and silver, these elegant trousers pair well with your black loafers and black shirts, sweaters and jackets. Can you dig it?
Trae: Dapper Cockney
So much about these pants calls London to mind…the grey color (or should I say colour?) is reminiscent of the London sky…wool is the most prominent fabric in textile Britain and Scotland…and as others have mentioned in these posts, perhaps the most “dapper” of all grey stretch pants wearers is none other than James Bond. And besides…how awesome are the words “Dapper” and “Cockney”?
Kenneth Faulkner-Alexander: CLOUD HOPPERS
Question:
~ Has life got you down Mr. Brown?
~ Does everything you do seem to basic Mr. Black?
~ Are you sad & pasty now that you have run out of bronzers Mr. Tan?
~ Looking for a change of attitudes Mr. Azure?
Answer:
No matter how blue, olive-drab or just plain black and white you may feel as the cloudy skies of winter approach and the days once filled with sunlight grow shorter and shorter… we here at Bonobos have got you covered! (literally!). As you do your absolute best to scoff off those winter blues as the clouds roll in… we wanted to remind you of that old saying: “EVERY CLOUD DOES INDEED HAVE A SILVER LINING!” Exactly the reason why we’ve chosen this time of year to introduce you to our newest pair of trousers; a handsome silver stretch wool! What better way to succeed than to wear these precious metaled trousers as you navigate through those dull dreary days of winter while looking amidst the clouds for that silver lining!
P.S.
Did you know that SILVER inhibits the growth of bacteria, as well as keeping odors to a minimum and reducing the risk of bacterial & fungal infection? Well, you do now! So we ask you… “What better way than to put on a pair of these CLOUD HOPPERS to help win with your fight against the flu, especially if it just so happens that you missed getting a flu shot?!”
Laura Bodary: Silver Spoon
My husband was born wearing these pants. Should my name win, there will be oh so much more spooning in my life….
pm: The Jayhawk
It was the spring of 1973 when Tower of Power posed its most timeless question–“What is hip?” It turns out that the band was not conjecturing about black-rimmed glasses, skinny jeans, or even the latest Decemberists album.
The new silver stretch wools are the consummate combination of humility and class that allows its owner to feel just right, whether it’s plugging numbers, or maneuvering through the after-hours smoke beams at our favorite late night jazz jaunt.
The Jayhawks are one more addition to our line of clothing that is meant to redefine comfort and cool. After all, hipness is what it is.
Ian: Little Ricky’s
Young Rick Schroeder taught us that living in a mansion with an immature, toy company-owning, millionaire father and having Alfonso Ribeiro as a best friend were simultaneously possible. You remember that train, right?
Live the dream. Together, you and I.
Cush Donelan: Streamlines
Silver Foxes and Steve McQueens… they are cool, confident and ’streamlined’ in everything they do. Doesn’t efficiency and ease matter the most in our business/entertainment worlds? Get things done with the “Streamlines.”
Brent: Marlinspike
Sharp and sleek, perfect for that disentangled business look. Cool grey tempered with a zest of lemon.
Chad Sakonchick: Keyser Sözes
Everytime I look at these I just can’t help but think of Kevin Spacey as Verbal/Keyser Söze.
Geoff: Prop-8
Because they can’t take away your right to a good pair of pants.